


It's Not What You Think

by CarylDixonandGrimes (FandomLifeTookMyHandAndSaidRUN)



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Deviates From Canon, Hurt/Comfort, caryl fic war, season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 02:18:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9695408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomLifeTookMyHandAndSaidRUN/pseuds/CarylDixonandGrimes
Summary: A frank conversation between Carol and Daryl regarding the "Cabin" kiss in season 6.





	

**Author's Note:**

> It's been awhile since I wrote Caryl, and given the filming spoilers for 7x10 I felt I needed a little more Caryl in my life. This is from the Caryl Fic War on Tumbler that occurred last January (2016). I'll be posting a few of those drabbles, oneshots, etc here for funsies. I hope you enjoy them! <3 Here's a one-shot, more to follow this week.

Carol pulled the casserole out of the oven placing it on the rack to cool.  It was about a half hour before everyone was due in for dinner, and she was glad to have a few moments of peace to herself before the herd that was her hungry family would come tromping through.  She turned to wash her hands in the sink, and jumped at the sudden and unexpected sight of Daryl standing in the doorway.  He had one thumb slung through the belt loop of his jeans, his other hand at his mouth worrying the cuticle of his thumb.  

“Everything okay?” she asked, pasting on a smile as she wiped down the countertops with a sponge.

“Mmm,” Daryl hummed.  A non-answer, but his head was tipped thoughtfully to the side.  His words would come, when he was ready.  She continued making her way around the kitchen counters, stopping to wash the few items in the sink and turned back to find him seated on a stool.  His hands gripped the side of the stool and he was leaning forward slightly looking at the floor.

“If you have something you need to say, might want to say it soon while it’s quiet.  Shift change happens soon, and then the house will be full until Judith goes to bed.”

Daryl shrugged a shoulder, and after a pause he finally spoke.  

“So, you and Tobin?” His voice so soft, she barely heard him.

She wiped her hands on the towel, standing opposite Daryl across the kitchen island.  “What about him?”

“Saw you with him,” he spoke.  Still not looking up at her, “At the graveyard.”

Carol sighed, wringing the towel gently in her hands.  

“So you saw me kiss him.”  It was a statement.  She had kissed him.  Tobin had been outspoken at the meeting earlier in the day, in support of Carol reminding the community that even this quiet, meek, and beautiful creature was an asset and had saved them.  He saw beyond the Alexandrian shell she wore, and knew what kind of a woman she was at heart, having seen for himself what she had done to help protect the community.  He was arguing in favor of her joining the group going to Hilltop, after Rick had originally said they would round up a group of men to do it.  Women, Tobin argued, like Carol were an asset.  And her powers of observation were sorely needed.  Where the other group might see her as “just a woman,” she was nearly a ninja in disguise.  Able to move with stealth, and observe things that might go missed by others that would be busy with verbal negotiations.  She was a secret weapon, of sorts.  Daryl knew this, of course.  Their entire group did.  But given that Daryl had seen her moment with Tobin, and not known the proper context, he was understandably upset.  Even hurt.

“You and ‘im together now?  Or is this part of yer… charade?” He tried to hide the bitter tinge to his voice, but failed as he half heartedly gestured to her Miss Prim and Proper outfit which consisted of a perfectly pressed button down, coordinating cardigan, and slacks.

Carol shook her head, “No.  It’s not what you think.”  

She didn’t offer further details as she wasn’t sure what exactly Daryl’s reaction to all this would be, but it was obvious it was not positive, as was to be expected.  She wasn’t even sure what she should say to him at all.  He had been distant of late.  They hadn’t spoken often like they had at the prison.  He was busy on his recruiting and supply runs, and she had been otherwise occupied with her community observations, taking care of Judith, and cooking meals for the old folks.  Their paths didn’t cross as often anymore, it was neither of their faults, but the interaction was sorely missed.

“He’s always been sweet on you though,” Daryl finally spoke when it became apparent she was not sharing more information with him at that moment without further prompting.  “Like offering to take you shootin’ and stuff.”

Carol rolled her eyes and smirked at Daryl, and using that teasing tone of hers in an attempt to calm his apparent unease, quipped,  “You jealous?”

He finally looked up at her with a frown, meeting her eyes.  “Just want to make sure he’s treating you right, is all.”

“Did you hear me when I said it’s not what you think?”

“Yeah, but… I never see you anymore, don’t know what’s goin’ on with you.  Things are changin’ left and right, and… Just didn’t want you getting lost in the shuffle is all.”  He resumed his downcast look, and running the toe of his boot along the trim of the cabinet.  “I know it ain’t none of my business, and I ain’t asking for details.  But he so much as looks at you sideways, I’ll-”

“Stop.”  Her voice was gentle and she came round to the other side of the island, perching on the stool beside Daryl.  He sat up slightly and leaned on to the counter, running his fingertips over the lines of the granite counter tops.  “He said some nice things about me.  He offered me words of comfort when I was… having a moment of upset.  He reminded me of what it feels like to be loved and appreciated, in a manner of the familial.  How things should be.  Did you know he’s lost a wife and child?”

Daryl shook his head no.

“It’s complicated, I’m not sure how to explain it. He was there at the right moment.  But that’s all it was, a moment where he boosted my confidence and things didn’t hurt quite so bad.”

“Everyone’s settling down, it seems. Figured maybe you’d been doin’ the same.”

“Why?” Her face a grimace at the thought. “Everything is changing so quickly and so fast, there’s no time for that.  With the expansion, and negotiations with Hilltop… It’s just not the right time.”

Daryl looked back up at her, swallowing hard to hide onto the tendrils of hope that he felt within his heart.  Seeing her lips pressed to Tobin’s had filled his chest with such an ache.  He felt he’d lost his friend, and a part of himself all at once.  Carol was more than a friend, anyone of their group would agree to that fact.  While their connection had not moved beyond playful banter, the occasional touch, and the now infamous reunion hug, it had always been “enough.”  They were had been a comfort on a dark day, the ying to the other’s yang, they balanced each other out.  Well, more so before Alexandria.  Since then their time in each other’s presence had been so limited, he realized then just how much he missed her and their connection.

“Look, the way I see it?  Everything we’re doing here is to provide a safe place for our family.  For Carl and Judith, so they can live to see old age in relative safety.  There is no ‘settling.’ That’s preposterous. There’s so much work to be done.  I’m glad that people might be taking a moment to enjoy their lives, that’s a good thing, but… settling down is not what I am picturing for myself at this stage of my life.”

“Oh…” Daryl responded, nodding along in agreement.

Carol edged the stool closer to Daryl, so they were eye to eye, face to face.  “What you think you saw?  It wasn’t that.  Our core unit comes first.”  She dipped her face to catch his eye, and when he finally looked at her, she placed a hand to his chest over his heart feeling it’s strong and steady beat.  He closed his eyes a moment, taking a deep breath letting it out slowly, placing his own hand over hers, grasping it tight.

“This,” she wiggled her fingers as if to pat his chest, “and this?” She put her free hand over her own heart. “There’s no replacing it.  Tobin may be the man that my husband never was, he’s complete opposite even.  But… he’s not what I need.  He doesn’t complete me.”

Daryl gave her hand a squeeze, the side of his mouth twitching up in a soft half smile.  

“And I still have a lot of work to do here,” she continued, patting her own chest, her bottom lip quivering slightly.  “And here,” reaching up to tap her temple.  With a sniffle and a brave smile, she leaned in and kissed Daryl on his forehead.  “And I’ll probably be needing my friend the most, not a community acquaintance.”

“Are you going to be okay?” Daryl asked, looking up at her again with concern as she stood beside him, her hand still gripped to his chest.

She looked away for a moment, squinting her eyes slightly, hoping for just the right answer to reveal itself.  Something that would make sense to both her and to Daryl, something that would ease the ache that was felt in both their hearts.

“Someday, I will be.  And you’ll be the first to know.”

“I’ll be waiting…” he pulled her hand to his mouth, giving her knuckles a single kiss before releasing her hand.

Carol hummed and she stepped away from him, stopping in the doorway.  “You always were the sweet one, you know,” smiling wide at him.  “We’ll talk more soon.  I’ve missed you.”

Daryl nodded, giving her a sheepish grin before the mop of hair fell back down to cover his eyes.  As much as it had unnerved him to see her in that moment with Tobin, knowing that she was still essentially ‘his Carol,’ was all he needed to continue on.  Knowing he hadn’t lost her completely filled the void, and he knew he’d work a little harder to check in with her more often, be the better friend that she so desperately needed.  And maybe, just maybe… someday it would turn into something more.


End file.
